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Monday, May 13, 2013

Small Tender Mercies

Monday's are hard!
I mean HARD-
and lately they I have been REALLY hard for me!

Like curl up in a fetal position and
lie in my closet with a box of Oreo's hard!

I'm going to blame it on hormones,
and age- because I can promise you
it is NOT pregnancy-
though that is EXACTLY what it feels like!
And I'd rather blame it on hormones
than say I'm just an emotional basket case!

So hormones it is...
that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Any who...
So today is Monday!
I woke up and knew I was in for a doozie 
of an emotional day-
so I decided to skip the gym and go back to bed
once everyone left for school.

Luckily for me, I had a lot of inner dialog going
on that convinced me to haul my pity partying hiney
to the GYM and get me a good Tabata beating!

I am so glad I did! The girls at the gym 
are seriously my life savers right now as I try to
juggle my life and stay somewhere in between
crazy and insane!

When I got home, I found myself sinking again.
I pulled out my phone and tried to hide my
feelings in digital media-
To my great joy and happiness,
I had emails from both of my wonderful
missionary children.

My son's letters are always short,
but he never fails to tell me how much
he loves me and how grateful he is
that I am his mom.

Be still my emotional heart-
if that wasn't just the thing I needed, I don't know
what was!

As I poured out my heart in a prayer of gratitude,
I was reminded of an experience I had
a few years ago on a pioneer trek for my church.
You can read about it here-
and I would say, if you are feeling at all
frustrated, discouraged or downtrodden;
you should TOTALLY read it!

I think I am in one of those times when my
Father in Heaven knows I need to be left alone
to labor and toil and struggle-
I know my family will be stronger and better for
the effort we put in, even though it is a source
of great concern for me now.

But I was reminded today, that even though
I may be left alone right now-
He, who loves us more than we can ever know,
is watching from above and preparing angels
with just the right information and at just the right moment-
to step in and push me up the mountain!

Today, I imagined that He knew that I would
get to this point in my battles
and He knew Monday's would be hard for me-
Today, I believe it is no coincidence that
BOTH of my missionary kiddos get to write me
on MONDAY's! Nor do I believe it is any small
matter that my hardest- and most fulfilling workout
class occurs on Monday morning AND that
the very smiling faces I have come to glean
strength and energy from have decided to
attend this class too!

He can't change the Monday hard right now,
this is part of my challenge and I have things to learn-
But He can prepare a source of strength to appear on
Monday's- to carry me through to Tuesday-
and that small mercy is worthy of notice and praise.

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